Jean-Adjacent: March
Postcard from Madrid.
Madrid was never on my list of places to live. But as my husband’s new film started looking more and more likely to shoot here, I began to think seriously about joining him with the kids.
There were things to consider: How would our English-speaking family make friends? (By enrolling in an American School, there are a few.) Is the city safe? (Yes.) Child-friendly? (Very.) Walkable, or would I need a car? (Both, ideally, with small children.) Centro or suburbs? (Centro!) Healthcare? (Universal.) Parks? (Plenty.) Language? (A barrier; Madrid is not like some other European cities where everyone speaks a little English.)
Ultimately, my husband and I decided that staying together was more important than anything and so, well, here we are.
This email is a bit clunky because my life right now is clunky and primarily focused on getting my kids’ needs met. Let me not oversimplify what it takes to move a three year-old and a six year-old to a foreign country with an eight hour time change; to enroll them in a new school; to make a furnished apartment with an empty kitchen feel like a functional family home; to rent the right car and get the right car seats. (Heads up, you must have a fuel efficient vehicle to drive in Madrid’s City Center, where we are living. Also, according to the sales person at the go-to department store, El Corte Inglés, the chest clip on a 5-point harness car seat is unsafe. Britax makes a version for the Spanish market with straps that buckle only once between the legs.)
As a mom, it can be really hard to revise my native-country narrative. (But! I was always told a 5-point harness with a chest clip is a must!) It can also be a huge relief to be reminded in a million small ways every day that people do things differently in different parts of the world and that there is not a single, flawless path for parenthood. The rules aren’t rigid. Why live anywhere as if they are?
I’ll probably have more to say on this subject as we get further into our stay. Please know, I’m not suggesting we be reckless with the safety of our children. But if an entire country puts their toddlers in car seats without chest clips, why wouldn’t I? And furthermore: What choice do I have? I didn’t bring my Nuna from L.A., so unless I get someone to ship it to me, a Britax Romer it is. (My fretting so much over any of this is my American-ness in a nutshell, btw.)
So many parentheticals in this letter. (My internal dialogue is constant and ongoing. Who else is there to talk to?) There is so much I don’t know. Here’s what I do know: Zara Home is amazing. In fact, I typically make a point of not linking to Zara in this newsletter (the jeans are good, you don’t need me to confirm it), but Zara Home in its native Spain? I love it so much. I dressed my bed in the collaboration with Morris & Co; bought myself an embroidered cotton robe and nightgown. My kids love these.
Here are some of the smarter things I did in preparation for 3 months in Madrid:
I packed my kids’ own bed sheets, backpacks, and lunch boxes. They don’t need toys from home (all they want are new toys, anyways), but where they sleep and what they carry with them to their new school (without me. tears.) should feel familiar. Honestly, it makes me feel good to see my children tucked into their own blankets. Home is stuff like that. (Pro Tip: I added this bed tent to my son’s set-up when we got here and it’s really helped him sleep.)
I brought the entire contents of my beach vacation wardrobe. Who wants to buy swimwear in a new city? To me, that sounds stressful. What if it’s a fancy pool party? We must be ready! (Yes. I packed plenty of Elephant & Piggie books, too, iykyk.)
Speaking of books, I brought many because English language bookstores are few here: This edition of One Day by David Nicholls, Real Estate by Deborah Levy, The Secret History by Donna Tartt, The Candy House by Jennifer Eagan, Intermezzo by Sally Rooney, and The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer are on my shelf.
And speaking of reading, I stocked up on glasses. If I lose a pair (or two), would I be able to find replacements? It wasn’t worth the risk, so I packed extra Peepers and this pair from Brooklyn-based Gabriel + Simone that I’m now completely hooked on wearing.
I can’t make a new place feel like home overnight, but I can make it smell like home pretty instantly:
• In the bedroom – Cire Trudon Classic ‘Cire’ Beeswax candle.
• In my bathroom – Officine Universelle Buly Alabaster Sacre, with extra refills and the scented matches.
• In my closet – Santa Maria Novella Melograno Terracotta.
• In the living areas – L:A Bruket No. 321 Hinoki candle.
On the streets of Chueca, where I am living, the pants are big, the coats are robe-like, and the older women wear their grey hair long and pulled back into buns. It’s all so beautiful. I will share more about the jeans and shops and restaurants here soon. For now, this is where I get my coffee in the morning. Gorgeous, right? I’m loving it here so far…
That’s all for this week. I installed a VPN on my computer so the links should be US-friendly for the majority of you who live there. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sending me your Madrid recs (in the comments, please, they get lost in my inbox if you reply to this letter.) Press that heart button to show your support (I need it right now!) and, always, Denim Forever.
Jane
More to read…
Mom talk with Pistola’s Grace Na
What I wear to take my kids to school.
The 5 pairs I packed for Madrid (though you can probably imagine I brought more than that. Coming soon.)
We must be readyyyyy!! Can’t wait to see what treasures you discover in Madrid.
I’d love to hear/see more about what the women are wearing in Madrid!