Moms' Jeans
Not to be confused with mom jeans.
I’ll get to the theme of this letter – which features 3 women and the jeans they rely on as moms – but first, I want to take a moment to talk about some of the denim looks at New York Fashion Week. Let’s start by clocking the long, heel-blanketing hemlines at Helmut Lang, Proenza Schouler, and Rentrayage. Though this is not a huge diversion from where we’ve been (or where Helmut has always been, for that matter), the leaner legs might indicate a shift towards sexier fits (bye-bye, baggies). Dark washes are dominating, but I prefer the playfulness of Proenza’s bleached, reverse-wash whites for spring. It’ll be fun to see what happens next in Europe.
Now, have you ever wondered why the idea of getting back into the jeans we wore before having babies is such a thing? I have. It’s hard to say what made me do it – probably a mix of cultural Kool-Aid-drinking and basic inexperience – but when I got pregnant with my daughter I put away many pairs of jeans, believing wholeheartedly that once she was born I’d button them back up like nothing ever happened.
We’ll add that to the list of things I thought I’d do as a mom before I actually became one.
The truth is, the jeans I loved before having kids don’t excite me the same way now. They no longer fit, in every sense of the word, and that’s OK. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty I miss from my pre-mom life. As a person who enjoys being alone and was childless until I was 38, kids were an adjustment. Their presence didn’t change a certain core of me – I’m still tidy to a fault and “aesthetically sensitive,” as my mother once put it – but it did change the way I want clothes to make me feel: Stylish, self-knowing, firm-but-flexible, and grown-up (no more gaping holes, thank you). Will wearing the jeans I wore before my kids were born make me feel more rested and carefree? I believe that’s the hope. And the reason we try in the first place.1
The jeans I myself wear in this letter are always, technically, mom’s jeans because they are mine. Today, I thought it’d be nice to hear from women with different kids, jobs, bodies, and lived experiences: Malwina Gudowska, a writer, linguist, and fellow Substacker based in London, contacted me over DM with the story of her vintage Wranglers and I knew I had to share; Melissa Magsaysay makes the coolest dresses and still wears jeans “90 percent of my life,” she told me; and Allison Oswald is a Doctor of Physical Therapy specializing in pelvic health. I met Allison after I had my son, when it became clear that healing from his delivery without real support was going to be just like bouncing back into my old jeans. Hard, if not impossible.
I’ve learned a lot from Allison and all these women. Mom or not, I believe you will, too.
Allison Oswald
Her jeans: AMO’s Tricia High-Rise in Joyous
What do you need from jeans right now? As a mom of three boys who is constantly bouncing back and forth between working with clients and being a busy mother, I go to staple pieces that can shift gears with a great sweater or pair of shoes.
And right now these AMOs are the jeans that I grab from my closet the most. They are as comfortable as a pair of sweats, but don’t stretch at all, which I love. The high-rise lets me bend, lift, twist and haul three boys on a regular basis, and also move how I need to for work. And at the same time, because they’re not frayed or ripped, I can throw on a cashmere sweater and wear them from school pick up to dinner out with friends. The length is at my ankle, so a cute pair of flats or sneakers works well.
Allison Oswald is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and Board Certified Pelvic Health Specialist. She works with clients in-person and virtually, and offers a monthly newsletter to subscribers. Lucky us, Allison’s Postnatal Pelvic Floor Connection Course is now available online at 20% off for JOJ readers.
Melissa Magsaysay
Her jeans: Moussey, bought on TheRealReal, which currently has these (size 25), these (size 27), and these (size 28 with tags). Moussey’s Vellflower Tapered Straight Jeans are similar.
Best Memory? Waking up early one morning while in Tokyo with my son Miles and going with friends to the Tsukiji Fish Market. Watching him discover and try new food was a thrill. We would stop at a stall to buy food, then find a spot on the sidewalk to sit and eat it, then move onto another stall, find a spot sit, eat, share our reactions. It was such a beautiful morning and we had never had an experience like that together. I wore my Moussy jeans with a vintage Mickey Mouse sweatshirt that I bought from a store in Harajuku the day before, and a Moussy bomber jacket I had bought from the Moussy boutique in Soho NY a few weeks earlier.
What do these jeans have to do with being a mom? Everything. They are the jeans that feel like a second skin in that they work with everything and for almost any occasion. They don’t pinch or constrict at any point and the straight leg is classic and I feel suits my body. During our Fish Market excursion I recall thinking how happy I was to be wearing jeans I could literally plop down on the sidewalk wearing to try some food and then rise back up again with ease. No tugging, pulling, gaping or splitting!
Melissa Magsaysay is a writer and author. She is the co-founder of Duster, a dress brand based in Los Angeles, and the head of content for inclusive beauty retailer, Thirteen Lune.
Jean of the Week: Malwina Gudowska
A Londoner and linguist pays tribute to her love of vintage Wranglers…
Dark blue Calvin Klein straight-leg jeans and a Guess mini skirt are my earliest denim memories, circa 1990 — singular finds in the small Canadian prairie city where I grew up. I wish I could say I wore both regularly, but the skirt was too short, and an unfortunate hem job got between me and my Calvins. A few years later, on the cusp of my teenage years, it was all about deconstructing Levi’s, adding strips of plaid flannel to the sides: the baggier, the better. For most of my twenties, I continued to be a Levi’s devotee – I even wrote a paper on Levi’s for a university marketing class – with a few intermittent high-waisted big-brand exceptions.
But then, I bought my first pair of vintage men’s Wranglers in a London charity shop, not long after my second child was born, after a challenging pregnancy and my first c-section. They were a perfectly worn-in medium blue denim, with a roomy high-waist, and zip fly, a welcome change from the 501 button-fly that was now irritating my scar. Many of my Levi’s never fit the same way after my second baby, but most vintage men’s Wranglers, especially Texas or Ohio styles, enveloped my post-baby body in a protective (denim) veil that made me feel confident to bear my maternal marks. It was never about concealing my c-section shelf (I am proud of it!) but moving past the idea of trying to fit in to something I was before the profound changes my body went through and continues to as a woman in her forties.
You can still find vintage Wranglers for super cheap if you know where to look, and sizing, as I have learned from acquiring nearly a dozen more pairs, even for vintage styles, is amazingly consistent compared to many other brands.
I recently learned Wranglers have a “softer twill” than other denim brands. Perhaps it was a poetic chance encounter I came upon my first pair at a time when I was trying to be softer to my transformed body, and my changed self.
Malwina Gudowska is a writer, editor, and linguist. Her Substack, Motherlingual, explores the intersection of language and motherhood. She is currently working on a book on multilingual mothering for Footnote Press. More of her work and book updates can be found here.
To everyone who engaged with last week’s Vintage Jeans post by liking, subscribing, sharing, replying, or purchasing a pair of jeans from any one of the sellers I listed, thank you. You help keep the dream alive.
Jane
More to read…
Vintage Jeans, Part I: How to Shop for it Online. Karla Welch Says You Can.
Vintage Jeans, Part II: What to Ask and Where to Start When Buying Online.
Plain, Good Jeans: Plus, the 101 on Rises, with Special Guest Michèle Ouellet Benson.
I believe the magical thinking we do around the clothes we wear Before v After is a part of any major life transition, not just that of becoming a parent. Also, becoming a parent and most of the changes that come with it are not exclusive to people who give birth.
I bought my first pair of vintage Levi’s (517’s) in 2018, after I gave birth to 2 babies, and they fit me even better now, and my kids are 14 and 11. They are the best mum jeans I’ve ever owned, so soft and so comfortable. Cheers to you Jane, I now know what that faded white patch on the back pocket is!! The old silhouette of a pack smokes!! Keep up the brilliant work!
Such a beautiful note about softness to oneself. Love this, as usual!